Now and then over the last few weeks, I’ve been jogged by a memory of an interview I gave for feministing online magazine a number of years ago. I recall that it was after the financial downturn which left many of us engulfed in FEAR. Sound familiar?
I decided to share a bit here exactly as it appeared in February 2009. Although we’ve seen much change in the last eight years, once again, or still, we are faced with uncertainty. The emotions that bubble up are much the same. When we are paralyzed by circumstances beyond our control, we DO have a choice about how to respond.
Back to February 2009:
It’s a difficult time for many of us across the country and around the world. What are some everyday things we can all do to keep moving forward amidst all the dreary news and circumstances?
I love the saying by Wayne Dyer — “If you don’t like the way something looks, change the way you look at it.” We are headed for a complete turn around in the way we do business, do everything, as a global community. We need to let go of the old paradigm. It’s like standing at a padlocked door and pounding on it, knowing full well you’ll never get in. Accepting and letting go of our expectations of the way things “should” be takes faith that there is something more, a greater purpose for your life. It takes courage to turn around and look for an open door.
What can we do on a daily basis? Not watch the gloom and doom on the news. Radical, I know. But negativity breeds negativity and we are hearing mostly bad news. I don’t mean stick your fingers in your ears and sing, “La, la, la, la…” but temper all the negativity with some empowering thought and action. We are all a part of this mess and we all need to take part in our recovery! Stop complaining and see yourself as part of the solution. Sometimes there are only small things we can do, even if we are secure in our jobs and homes. But we CAN do something. Look around your community, make donations of your time, expertise or money (if you have to think about whether you can afford a donation, you probably can!) Your neighbors, your city, your country, your world needs your talents, your expertise, right now. Nothing feels better than giving to improve another’s circumstance, (remembering to take impeccable care of yourself at the same time!) Pay it forward by sharing your gifts and blessings with others.
Here’s more. Replace the question of job loss with WHATEVER your current sense of loss may be and the answer is the same:
If someone just found out they lost their job during this economic crisis, what do you think are some helpful first steps that person should take?
Mourn the loss. Grieve it like crazy for a while. Then accept the loss. Face the facts, the job is gone!
Pray for guidance. If you don’t believe in God or a divine presence, pray to your higher self — that wise part of you that has all the answers you need.
Instead of choosing to be a victim, choose the high road. You may not have chosen to lose your job, but you can choose how to respond. Make the decision that every event has a lesson and gift.
Be willing to ask for help! There is support available from your family and friends, I guarantee it. You would be amazed at how grateful people are to be asked for help, not rescue, but a helping hand. And many coaches and counselors from different backgrounds and trainings are willing to take a certain percentage of their clients on a sliding scale or “pro bono,” with the commitment that the client will pay it forward when they are back on their feet by sharing their unique talents and gifts!
Want to read more of this interview or know more about feministing? Here’s the link:
http://feministing.com/2009/02/28/cate_labarre_life_coaching_dur/
Sometimes I am amazed at how NOT in the moment I can be. For the last 18 months I’ve been waiting for the increasingly divisive and derisive campaign to be OVER, as though THAT was going to save me and end my frustration. My candidate lost. Though I know in my heart that even if she had won, it would not have changed the mood in our divided electorate and nation and that I would still be frustrated.
I don’t know if I could’ve shifted this feeling of deprivation if it were not for the groundbreaking research of Dr. Brené Brown. She writes and teaches about our current scarcity culture. We are steeped in not enough — not thin enough, not rich enough, not smart enough. We don’t get enough sleep. We don’t get enough vacation. Our outer and inner worlds just aren’t enough! From the perspective of scarcity, what I thought would bring me renewed vitality and health was doing less than nothing, a waste of time and effort, because for those few days I was focused on deprivation, choosing scarcity rather than gratitude, scarcity rather than enough. I had lost sight of how blessed I am to even have the knowledge, privilege and means to make this kind of change in my life. After I allowed myself to whine and feel deprived, I made the choice to step into ENOUGH. I no longer say “I can’t”, but “I choose”. I affirm that the foods I choose are enough. The lifestyle I choose is enough. The rest I get and work I do are enough. My life is enough. And at the end of each day, no matter how I’ve succeeded or failed in fulfilling my own expectations, I truly am enough. P.S. I’m sticking with it. I feel better. And that is enough. 
