On our Coaches’ Leadership Class call last Tuesday evening, Debbie Ford asked us if we were willing to commit to giving up “drama” this year. I have been thinking about what that means ever since. I remember my life before I began this work — it was filled with chaos and drama. I loved to hear “drama” stories so I could help “fix” something or someone. If I was entrenched in my own drama or co-dependently helping others, I had a ready “excuse” at all times. Poor me, poor, poor me! As Debbie pointed out, being in drama is a huge energy drain.
As time goes on, I can see that I am much less prone to get sucked into drama — my own and others. Though we can’t always control the events of our lives, we can control our response. I’ve learned that the world in NOT coming to an end at every crisis, whether small or large. I’ve realized that it is my response that creates the drama. I can acknowledge that I have made improvement.
But something lingers. I know it’s there. I can feel it deep inside. I am still a drama queen. I feel the my drama internally. I may not share it, you probably wouldn’t have a clue, but I know. A charge of anxiety, unfocused excitement, dread and a feeling that there is something I need to do, a task undone. There is. Always. My overloaded, impossible to accomplish “to-do” list doesn’t motivate me, it paralyzes me. Procrastination sets in and I am in deep personal (silent and miserable) drama.
My commitment? Continue to check in with myself, notice my excuses and self-sabotage caused by creating unrealistic expectations, and get into action. Not anxiety producing, drama creating tail chasing action, that is really poorly disguised procrastination, but movement forward. One step at a time, connected to the “powerful me” instead of the “poor me”.
A year with no drama? I’m IN!